School Anxiety in Expat Kids

Moving to a new country is a huge step for any family—and for children, school can become both a place of excitement and a significant source of anxiety. As a child and adolescent psychologist specializing in behavioral correction, I have accompanied many families through this journey. The goal of this article is to offer practical, compassionate guidance for parents helping their children navigate school anxiety in a new cultural environment.

Understanding School Anxiety in Expat Kids

Imagine your child facing a classroom where the language, customs, and expectations are unfamiliar. It’s not just the schoolwork that can feel overwhelming—often, it’s the social rules, the fear of not fitting in, and the loss of familiar surroundings that trigger anxiety. For expat children, these feelings are completely natural.

“When we moved from Brazil to Germany, my 10-year-old son suddenly became withdrawn and complained of stomachaches every morning. He’d always loved school before the move.”

This story is not unique. School anxiety in expat children can manifest in many ways, from physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches, sleep disturbances) to emotional signs (tearfulness, irritability, resistance to going to school).

Why Does School Anxiety Happen?

Let’s break it down: When children are uprooted from their homeland, they lose their familiar safety nets—friends, language, teachers who “get” them. Their brains register this change as a threat, sparking what psychologists call the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Even confident children may feel uncertain, leading to anxiety about school.

It’s important to remember: Anxiety isn’t just fear of academics. It can be about not understanding instructions, feeling isolated at recess, or worrying about being different. The good news? With the right support and predictable routines, most children can adjust and even thrive in their new school community.

Spotting the Signs: What Should Parents Look For?

School anxiety often hides behind everyday complaints. Here are some common signs your child may be struggling:

Frequent complaints of physical symptoms (headaches, stomach pain, nausea) especially on school days
Sudden changes in mood: sadness, irritability, anger, meltdowns
Sleep difficulties: trouble falling asleep, nightmares, waking up early
Loss of interest in schoolwork or social activities
Refusing to participate in class, not speaking, or withdrawing from peers
Regressive behaviors (for younger children): bedwetting, clinginess, tantrums

If you notice a pattern—especially if symptoms ease up on weekends or school holidays—it may be more than just “not liking school.”

Mini-case: “The Silent Student”

One family I worked with had recently relocated from Russia to the UK. Their 7-year-old daughter, previously outgoing, stopped speaking in class entirely. At home, she was her usual chatty self. The parents felt helpless, worried that she was losing confidence. Through gentle support, collaboration with teachers, and small social goals, she gradually regained her voice at school.

Practical Strategies for Parents

Here are steps you can take to ease your child’s school anxiety and support their adjustment:

1. Establish Predictable Routines

Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Keep morning and bedtime routines consistent, and try to replicate comforting rituals from your home country.

Use a visual schedule (pictures or simple words) to outline the school day.
Prepare “transition objects” (like a small keepsake in their backpack).

2. Open Gentle Communication

Check in regularly, but avoid pressuring your child to “be brave” or “just try harder.” Instead, use open questions:

“What was the easiest part of your day? What was the hardest?”
“Did anything today make you feel worried or confused?”

3. Normalize Their Feelings

Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel nervous or out of place. Share your own stories about times you felt unsure and how you coped. Remind them that many kids in their class might feel the same way, even if they don’t show it.

4. Collaborate with Teachers and School Staff

Teachers are your allies. Schedule a meeting to share your observations. Ask about:

Opportunities for peer buddies or mentors
How anxiety shows up at school (sometimes it’s different than at home)
Support services (school counselor, ESOL/ELL programs, social groups)

5. Encourage Gradual Exposure

If your child is resisting school, avoid forcing full participation all at once. Instead, try gradual steps:

Shorter school days, if possible
Visiting the school together outside of class hours
Setting small, specific goals (e.g., say “hello” to a classmate, join one game at recess)

6. Foster Social Connections

Friendships are powerful buffers against anxiety. Look for opportunities outside of school, such as:

Community or sports clubs
Language classes for expats
Playdates with classmates, even if language is a barrier

7. Prioritize Self-Care (For Parents, Too!)

Children pick up on your stress. Take care of your own emotional needs, seek support from other expat parents, and remember that adjustment takes time.

What if Anxiety Persists?

If your child’s anxiety is severe—causing panic attacks, school refusal, or significant decline in functioning—it may be time to consult a mental health professional. Early intervention can make a big difference.

Checklist: What to Try When Supporting Your Expat Child’s School Anxiety

Strategy	How to Apply
Visual schedule/routine	Create a daily chart with pictures or icons for each step in the school day.
Transition object	Let your child choose a small item from home to keep in their backpack or pocket.
Regular check-ins	Set aside 10 minutes daily for an “emotion talk”—no distractions, just listening.
Teacher partnership	Email or meet with teachers regularly; share your child’s strengths and needs.
Peer support	Ask about buddy systems or small group activities at school.
Gradual exposure	Break overwhelming tasks into smaller, achievable steps; celebrate progress.
Relaxation skills	Practice deep breathing, mindfulness, or simple stretching together before school.
Parental self-care	Connect with other parents; take time for your own hobbies and rest.

Helpful Resources

Remember: Every child’s adjustment is unique. If you feel your child’s anxiety is not improving, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support. You are not alone on this journey, and with patience, empathy, and the right strategies, your child can find their place and confidence in their new school community.

Disclaimer: This article provides general psychological guidance and is not a substitute for personal consultation with a licensed professional.