Meetups That Matter: How to Find ‘Your People’ Fast
There’s a point in remote life where you realize: Slack DMs and Zoom calls just don’t cut it. You crave real connections—someone to geek out with over TypeScript, swap lunch spots, or just vent about a gnarly client. But finding “your people” in a new city (or heck, even your own) can feel intimidating and random—like waiting for lightning to strike. It doesn’t have to be.
Why Most Meetups Are… Meh
Let’s be honest: Most meetups are either too general (“Tech Networking Night!”), too salesy (“Crypto Happy Hour!!!”), or full of folks on their phones. I’ve lost count of the times I showed up, grabbed a nametag, and wondered if I could sneak out early. The good news? You can dramatically improve your odds of finding quality connections—if you’re a little strategic.
The Case: From Awkward to Awesome in 3 Days
Last spring, I landed in Asheville, NC for a month. I knew no one. My goal: meet at least two “real” people (i.e., folks I’d want to grab coffee with again). By day three, I’d done it—and one of them is now my go-to for hiking and impromptu debugging sessions.
Here’s the process that worked—no awkward small talk, no wasted evenings.
Step-by-Step: Finding Meetups That Don’t Suck
1. Use Hyper-Specific Search Queries
Generic search: “programming meetup near me” will get you rooms full of recruiters and pyramid schemes.
Instead, try:
- “React.js hands-on”
- “Remote worker coworking”
- “Tiny home + coffee”
- “Open hack night”
Add your industry + a hobby or niche interest. Meetup.com, Eventbrite, Facebook Groups, and Eventful all have robust search filters—use them!
2. Pre-Message the Organizer (Yes, Really)
Send a short, honest note:
“Hi! I’m new in town and looking for folks who actually want to talk shop—does your group get into technical stuff, or is it more social? No worries either way, just want to set expectations!”
About half the time, you’ll get a real answer. The signal: If they reply thoughtfully, you’re on to something. (If you get a copy-paste response or nothing, skip.)
3. Show Up With a Purpose (and an Exit Plan)
- Arrive early, so you’re not breaking into cliques.
- Ask one genuinely curious question (“What’s the most interesting thing you worked on this month?” beats “So, what do you do?” every time).
- Be open about your intention: “I travel a lot for work, so I’m always hunting for cool folks to connect with.”
- Set a time limit for yourself—45 minutes is enough. No pressure to stay longer.
4. Post-Event Follow-Up That Doesn’t Feel Weird
Within 24 hours, DM the person you clicked with. Reference something specific you discussed. Example:
“Hey, thanks for the chat about debugging CI/CD pipelines—still thinking about that Docker tip you shared. Next time you’re up for coffee, let me know!”
Roughly 60% of people will respond (yes, I track this—I’m a nerd). Those are your people.
Bonus: Hosting Your Own “Micro-Meetup”
Can’t find the group you want? Make your own. Aim small: 3-5 people max. You don’t need a venue—try a park, coffee shop, or even a Discord call for locals.
- Pick a niche: “Async Python & cold brew morning,” “Freelance designers walk & talk,” or “No-sales remote dads lunch.”
- Post in 3 places: Meetup.com, a local Slack, and one subreddit (r/Asheville for me).
- Keep it casual: “No agenda—just show up and hang out.”
- Schedule it for off-peak: Think 10:30am Fridays or 4pm Wednesdays. You’ll avoid the noisy crowds.
Checklist: 15 Minutes to Your Next Real Meetup
| Step | Tool/Example | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Brainstorm ultra-specific queries | Notes app, Google | 3 min |
| Search Meetup/Eventbrite/Facebook | Meetup.com, Eventbrite.com | 5 min |
| Message organizer | Meetup/Facebook DM | 2 min |
| Pick one event to attend | Calendar app | 1 min |
| Draft your “exit plan” | Notes app | 1 min |
| Follow-up message template | Saved in docs | 3 min (post-event) |
Links & Favorite Tools
- Meetup.com — still the biggest, but filter hard.
- Eventbrite — more for professional/paid events, but good for niche talks.
- Facebook Groups — messy, but gold for local hobbyists.
- Discord — search for local or interest-based servers.
- Reddit — subreddits like r/[YourCity] often have monthly meetups or threads.
Story time: Once, I posted “Anyone want to grab tacos and debug React Native?” on a local Slack. Three strangers showed up. One’s now a business partner. Turns out, tacos and error logs are a surprisingly solid combo.
Don’t overthink it. If you show up authentically (and with good snacks), “your people” find you faster than you’d think.
Some links above may be affiliate. You pay the same price, and this blog may earn a small commission. Thanks for supporting practical, real-world advice!
